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There are tons of red flags out there when it comes to dating. The bottom line is red flags are really unique to every person. We all come from a place of different experiences, so something that is a red flag for one person, may not be a red flag for someone else.
Let's Go To Your House....NOT!
There are some red flags, however, that are pretty universal when it comes to your safety, and whether you or your potential someone is ready for a relationship.
Number one, a person who wants you to go to their house for a first date. Or someone who wants to go to your house for a first date. This is not a good move. Some people may think nothing about it, but safety is key. You don’t know who you’re inviting into your home, or who is inviting you into their home. They could have a dungeon set up, and if you’re into that, great! But not on a first date…
You never know - this could be somebody who is casing your home for what they can steal from you. I mean, now they know where you live, and if you’re still talking to them, you may say “Yeah I’m going out to go do this today”, and then they can make a plan with their gang when they’re going to go in and rob you. I personally don’t know that this has happened to anyone in the past, but there are “sales” scam artists that have done this kind of thing for years. Why not search for their next victims in the dating world?
My Ex This...My Ex That
Another red flag is the person who can’t stop talking about their ex. This is a person who hasn’t moved forward in their life. They’re still working through the pain of the break up or loss. They’re not ready for a relationship. They might be looking for “a good time”, and if that’s what you’re looking for, great! But if you’re looking for a relationship, and this is somebody who cannot stop talking about their ex, it’s time to step away and let them heal. No one can heal, and I mean truly heal, when they are distracted by somebody else. They need that time to process their pain, and heal from the break up.
Desperately Still Seeking...
I once had a date with a man, and I think this was probably my fourth or fifth date with him, he took me to a concert. It was a great concert! He was big into music and enjoyed looking at the set list during the show. He had his phone in his hand the entire time we were there, looking at the setlist to see what song was coming up next.
That was all fine and good, until I looked over at one point to find a yellow text box that he was reading and responding to.
Do you know what he was doing? He was on a dating site. He was on Bumble.
I looked at him and said “Are you on Bumble?“ And he said “Nooooo…“ He was lying. I looked at him and said “You’re on Bumble! Are you kidding me?!“
I was ready to go home at that point. Unfortunately, we were far away, so I put up with his crap for the rest of the night. My point being, somebody who’s on a dating site when they’re out on a date with you, is a glaringly huge, bright red flag.
Yellow Flags are a Thing
What about yellow flags? It’s possible that things other people could consider red flags, may actually be more of a yellow flag for you. Yellow flags are something that you realize could be a potential issue, but until you really understand this person and the full scope of what they’re thinking, you really won’t be able to determine that. A yellow flag could be something you’re willing to put up with.
Dating Red Flags Conclusion
There will always be red, yellow and green flags. None of us are perfect. There’s never going to be all green flags. There’s going to be a mix of green, yellow and red. But the mix of flags that you are willing to live with, is something you have complete control over. Are you ready to get back out there and date? Read our blog on First Date Ideas.
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