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So you’ve been chatting with someone on an online dating app, and you’ve made plans to meet in the real world. What should you do for your first date?
Be Decisive
First thing I’m going to say is be decisive. Don't be all wishy-washy and say “I don’t know what to do, what do you wanna do?” You’re on an online dating site to date, right? So date! If you have bonded over coffee with your prospective partner, by all means, meeting at a coffee shop is a great first date idea. If you're someone who enjoys having drinks during happy hour, meet for drinks.
Be Brief, But Thoughtful
You want to keep the first meeting fairly brief. One sure way to do it is to have other plans for AFTER your date. Don’t commit to an entire evening. You don’t want to plan an entire night with somebody you’ve never met before. It could go sideways, and you don’t wanna be stuck with somebody for the rest of the night. You also don’t want to miss out on plans that you could’ve had with friends, had you not decided to go on the date to begin with. .
I always plan dates for earlier in the evening, and then catch up with my friends a couple of hours later. It gives me an out, and I am still able to follow through on my original commitment with friends.
What if the date is going well and you don’t want to leave? Well, that’s the great thing about being decisive - you can decide to keep the date going if you’re having a good time! I’ve had a few dates where I’ve been having fun and I invited him to join me with my friends. Added bonus: You get your friends input!
Feeling Adventurous?
One of the best first dates I’ve had - we went river tubing! While that breaks my short timeframe rule, it was also something I hadn’t done before, so it was neat to do something I had always wanted to do. I didn’t know him, but it gave me someone to go with! I was a bit concerned because he was going to see me in a swimsuit, but at the same time I am who I am and what you see is what you get!
I have a friend who’s first meeting with her long-term boyfriend was for a run. Her attitude was great - she told me she showed up wearing a ball cap. Again, she had the same “what you see is what you get” attitude as I had with my river tubing date. She was my inspiration!
Hiking can be a fun date too. I had one first date hiking a local battlefield - kind of apropos for the dating world! It was great because we were nature, and it was an opportunity to talk, and get some exercise. It was a really nice time and a great opportunity to get to know one another..
Dinner, Drinks...and Maybe a Ferris Wheel?
Another first date I had was for dinner. Ordinarily I wouldn’t suggest dinner. They can be long and drawn out and if you don’t get along, you’re both stuck there in an uncomfortable situation. This date however turned into the most romantic first date I ever had.
We went to a really nice restaurant and fortunately we really hit it off. I could have ended dinner early and bailed, but like I said, if you’re having a great time, you can still extend it and do other things. On this particular date, we ended up taking a ferry across the Potomac River to National Harbor in the DC area. While we were at National Harbor, we walked on one of the piers, we rode the Ferris wheel, we went into another bar for a couple drinks, and then we ferried back. It was truly one of the most amazing dates I’ve ever had.
Safety First
I do not recommend having a first date in your home, or going to their home. This is a stranger you met online, and you don’t really know who they are. Play it safe. Meet a stranger in a public place.
Recently someone told me how they invited a first date to their home for dinner. He had a woman come over to his house and her pictures were not representative of who she is. He then had the unfortunate task of having to ask her to leave his home. Had they met in public for something brief, he would’ve had a much easier time excusing himself than putting himself in the uncomfortable position of asking her to leave.
To Recap First Date Ideas…
Always make sure first dates are in a public place
Always make sure first dates are scheduled for no more than an hour or two (you can extend it if it’s going well)
Always make sure you’re doing something you enjoy doing, or something you always wanted to do like my river tubing
Always focus on having FUN!
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